back to writing
it's been some time since my last entry. was trying to muster enough courage to write again. then, i realized, to hell with it. i'll just create another blog when it comes to things i really need to write about and not want anyone else to know. missed writing. missed airing out my thoughts and receiving feedback about it. missed blogging. really had to get over the fear that someone would take things that i wrote against me.
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wow. just read someone's blog and i didn't understand a single thing about what was being said. too many terms for easy liking.
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think i'm growing old. just played badminton the other day and my joints are aching. add to that, i had to sleep on a bed with no mattress for the entire week. my dad visited and he's the one using the foam on my bed. ngayon, para kong natutulog sa papag. thing is, i don't use pillows. so para talaga kong natutulog sa papag. pag gising ko pa, sakit pa ng katawan ko from the game. positive side though, i rediscovered the fun in playing. shall i continue? malamang. baka nga dagdagan pa ng isang sport.
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the more i try looking for a love life, the more i get confused and the more i don't end up understanding things. probably i place too much meaning on the most insignificant of things. should i wait? but i'm not the type who waits. i'm more of the type who decides to leave. shall i try waiting this time? what's the difference? what can be unique about this time for me to change my habit of doing things? what's special this time around? what's different? it's just that the way things are, they're just way too simple. the lack of complexity. the absence of kilig moments. are these signs of maturity? or probably indications that there's no attraction at all. shall i risk it? will it be worth it? is he even worth it? what's special? i cannot identify. but a thing's sure, it will deeply sadden me if we part.
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maganda pala mga kanta ni howie day. ngayon ko lang na-discover.
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my brother's getting married tomorrow. magka-away pa rin kami. am i mad? not anymore i think. it's just that i find some things unacceptable. does it require seeking forgiveness? yes. think it should. will this bad blood between us extend till the next 20 years of our lives? yes it can. will i feel sad if one of us dies and this thing is not ironed out? yes i will. on the other hand, i doubt i will be able to live with myself if i just let what happened pass.
will i go to his wedding tomorrow? i don't mind not going.
****
wow. just read someone's blog and i didn't understand a single thing about what was being said. too many terms for easy liking.
****
think i'm growing old. just played badminton the other day and my joints are aching. add to that, i had to sleep on a bed with no mattress for the entire week. my dad visited and he's the one using the foam on my bed. ngayon, para kong natutulog sa papag. thing is, i don't use pillows. so para talaga kong natutulog sa papag. pag gising ko pa, sakit pa ng katawan ko from the game. positive side though, i rediscovered the fun in playing. shall i continue? malamang. baka nga dagdagan pa ng isang sport.
****
the more i try looking for a love life, the more i get confused and the more i don't end up understanding things. probably i place too much meaning on the most insignificant of things. should i wait? but i'm not the type who waits. i'm more of the type who decides to leave. shall i try waiting this time? what's the difference? what can be unique about this time for me to change my habit of doing things? what's special this time around? what's different? it's just that the way things are, they're just way too simple. the lack of complexity. the absence of kilig moments. are these signs of maturity? or probably indications that there's no attraction at all. shall i risk it? will it be worth it? is he even worth it? what's special? i cannot identify. but a thing's sure, it will deeply sadden me if we part.
****
maganda pala mga kanta ni howie day. ngayon ko lang na-discover.
****
my brother's getting married tomorrow. magka-away pa rin kami. am i mad? not anymore i think. it's just that i find some things unacceptable. does it require seeking forgiveness? yes. think it should. will this bad blood between us extend till the next 20 years of our lives? yes it can. will i feel sad if one of us dies and this thing is not ironed out? yes i will. on the other hand, i doubt i will be able to live with myself if i just let what happened pass.
will i go to his wedding tomorrow? i don't mind not going.
posted by cath at 8:44 PM
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