welcome to the crossroad

i believe i've reached that point again. the fork at the end of the road. the crossroad. the blank state when i feel i am compelled to choose.

these times it won't be up to what i think. it will depend on what i feel. and just like before, the feeling is like that of letting go. i think i've reached it. again.

guess in relationships this is what's described as getting tired. exhaustion. not really nagsawa as a pinoy term suggests. it's more of ubos na. like a flame going out. it's that situation where one won't fight anymore. this feeling is much like that of yeilding. giving in rather than giving up. the term acceptance is quite noble. acceptance seems to indicate an understanding of what is. this, on the other hand, is just taking it as it is without the knowledge of why it is so.

guess in more mature relationships, a situation like this can be salvaged if one partner decides to hold on. to maintain the status for both individuals in the relationship. the problem, however, arises when one is in jeopardy and the other is not there to fight it out for the both of you.

this is probably one of those instances when the one saying 'you weren't there' is the same one who is unintentionally fading away. guess that's the essence of finding someone who'd fight for you when you can't fight for yourself.